32 – shitty realisations & hard decisions

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Links mentioned in this episode:

Learn how to flip the script on your inner critic (this will add you to my email list)

transcript (unedited)

Kia ora, hi. Hello and welcome to this episode of The Rules Are made Up. It’s been a while. How’s it going? I hope you are doing well whenever you are tuning in into this episode, and there’s been a lot going on over. over here in, in this neck of the woods. I’ve started at uni again and for some reason decided to do two courses this semester because that means I can be done sooner, which is a great, you know, it sounded like a great idea, but now that I’m literally in it, , I’m not sure.

A lot of the time I question. My decision making from a few months ago, but I am actually enjoying learning a lot, and I think I’m just resenting my choice right now because I’m in the middle of writing two essays that I due within a day of each other, so . So I think it’s just like that crunch time is getting to me.

But overall, it’s been great so far. And. , it’s helping me to know that it’s a temporary thing and that it means I get done faster. So it is just sometimes it’s a bit hard juggling study work and holding space for my clients and trying to build my own business, and something that I wanted to talk about today.

This notion that as someone who, you know, likes to do a lot of things and sort of considers themselves an overachiever maybe, or a perfectionist? Definitely that, or just someone who, you know, what likes getting shit done. Like that’s not a, you know, none of that. There’s no morality attached to any of that, really.

But what I’ve noticed for myself is that I’m the kind of person that if I say I’m gonna do these things, I wanna do. . Right. And I’m getting better at figuring out different ways that that can look like. Right. It doesn’t have to look one specific way, like take this podcast. Right. I started out doing pretty much weekly episodes, then it went to fortnightly, then I took a hiatus.

Then I’m like, I’m back and we’re gonna do them monthly. Right. I’ve, I’ve experimented with what it actually looks like or can look like and what that can feel like for me. . But I’m also realizing yet again that I can’t do everything. I can’t do all of the things that I’ve set my mind to. And that’s a really hard realization to make, right?

Because it makes you think that your failing at stuff because you can’t do it all. or that you are, you know, there’s something wrong with you because you’re not able to figure out how to do it all. But actually, I would argue that actually figuring out what not to do or what not to focus on, to go against the pressure of just lumping more and more shit on your plate that is actually.

That takes guts and it takes a lot of mind management skills, to be honest, to, you know, not be in my head all the time arguing and playing mental ping pong and trying to, you know, figure out how to do it all. And it actually feels strange because I’ve, I was so used to that mental ping pong for so long.

that, you know, once you make decisions, it actually makes that part a bit easier. And so where I am going with this, and I’ll, I’ll just say it outright and I’ve thought about it for a couple of days, but this really is the decision that I needed to make. This will be the last episode for a little. , I have decided to put the podcast on hiatus again because it’s just, it’s just too much to be honest.

Figuring out what to talk about, making time to record it alongside everything else right now for me and my brain and my ability to cope with stuff. It’s too much. and I am in awe of people who juggle, you know, multiple things like work and maybe part-time study and kids and all of these things. I don’t know how you do it, honestly, and I’m in the very privileged position that, you know, as much as I enjoy doing the podcasts, I enjoy recording them and putting them out there right now.

It isn’t something that is shifting the needle in my. , right? Like I think a lot of you already know me, . It’s not necessarily that, you know, I get a lot of new people from it. So as much as I enjoy it, it is not something that I want to prioritize in terms of, you know, connecting with new people. I would like, I have limited time and so I’m really trying to figure out how to best use that time.

right? And because I’ve gotta double, like double the workload at uni that I’ve had for the last two years when I first started doing this. It’s just something’s hit to give and to protect my mental health. It’s gotta be this. So I don’t know when the next. , the next episode will be, it could be, you know, once this semester’s over, but maybe I’ll actually wait until the end of the year and maybe I’ll do, you know, like some podcasts do seasons, so maybe that’s something for me to think about and, you know, record a whole bunch of stuff when I do have.

So that I can, you know, filter it, like not filter it out, drip it out. That’s what I was looking for. I was thinking about dripping filter coffee dripping. Sorry. It is Sunday morning when I’m recording this and I am drinking my coffee. So my brain’s still doing some funky shit. But, you know, there’s things to ponder and I do like, the one thing I do know is that I.

to bring it back cuz I have enjoyed Chatt chatting. I have enjoyed, you know, connecting with some of you who’ve messaged me about it. And I have other, like, I have friends and other coaches who I want to chat to and bring on. And it’s something that long term as part of my business, it definitely is something that I see as being a part of inner level coaching and how I can reach people.

but I just have to practice some essentialism right now. And I was reminded of that this past week during some coaching and yeah, I don’t know why I keep justify, like, this is my business in my podcast. I get to decide what I do with it, so I don’t know why I’m justifying it. I, I feel like I just want to explain why I’ve, um, made.

decision, but it ties in nicely with like the topic that I talked about in the previous, in the one other episode I recorded this year, I think, which was all about simplicity, right? Which is my, my word for the year was to keep things simple and in order to simplify my time management a little bit. , even though it’s not, it really isn’t.

It’s, it’s nowhere near simple. in order to do that, you know, sometimes that means removing things from your plate because I need to stress and worry about fewer things. And I’ve, to be honest, for the last month and a bit, whenever I recorded my last episode, I had a reminder in my calendar to record this one for the last month, and I haven’t done it.

And I started to be a right old dick about it to. Right, because I wasn’t doing it, and clearly there’s been a reason that I wasn’t doing it. And so sitting with that, thinking that through and now making the decision, it feels really good, to be honest. And I also want to take this as an opportunity to touch on the notion of pushing pause on so, And how, what we make that mean, right?

Because we make things mean stuff. , that was a horrible sentence, but for example, deciding to fully, like to full on stop something or to push pause doesn’t mean we are quitting. It doesn’t even mean it’s less important, right? It means we’ve recognized we need to not do that right now. It can still be incredibly important, but it’s not urgent, right?

It’s not a priority,

and so I wanted to chat about that and remind you that you get to decide the meaning. of your decisions, right? Your decisions are decisions. And I hope for you that they tend to be rooted in facts and not just feelings and emotions and thoughts that you’re having about a certain, you know, the, the decision.

But at the end of the day, what you’re making those decisions mean is up to. and you can make a decision like this, right? And obviously you may not have a podcast that you are deciding to put on hiatus again, but for your life decisions, or not necessarily big life decisions, but you know, decisions you make every day, you get to decide what you are making them mean, right?

You can make the mean that you are. Like if you decide to listen to your body because you’ve been feeling under the weather. and you know, you’re getting a bit snotty and your voice is sounding a bit funny and deciding to not push that run or that workout, you can decide to make that mean that you are lazy, that you are not committed to your training plan.

If you’re following one that you’re not, you know, whatever other, however other many, a hundred things, or you can decide to make that mean that you’ve listened to your body. that you know when to dial it back a little, and that training, not training on that particular day won’t be to your detriment. If anything, it’ll probably be, it’ll help you push harder in the session in your next session because you’ve decided to give your body the rest that it clearly needed.


I just want to ta Sorry that was a long awkward pause that we are leaving in because I am not editing this podcast out the wazo, but I just wanted to say thank you for tuning in to this podcast over the last year. and for giving me your time. I know most of these episodes have been rather short, but I know it still takes time to listen to them.

Right. And I do value that and appreciate that. And I don’t take it for granted. And I wanted to take this as an opportunity to say thank you for tuning. . If you have enjoyed some of these episodes and you want a little bit more of what that, you know what I talk about, then I’ll put all of these in the show notes as well.

But obviously I am on social media, so you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook. I think I tend to be more active on Instagram, to be honest, but I do have a Facebook business page. . Uh, I have a LinkedIn business page as well that I post every so often and I have an email list. So I do still send an email about once a month to an amazing group of humans where I share topics, like I talk about, I have talked about on the podcast, but it’s usually a bit shorter form, and I share recommendations like people you should, other people you should follow because I don’t believe in monopolizing that shit.

Uh, articles or other podcasts or podcast episodes that I think might really, really resonate because you know, like I said, I don’t know everything. I have a particular lens and view on certain things, and I want to share other amazing resources as well. And so that’s what I do in my emails. Obviously emails are also where I often share any.

News around a new service that I might be doing, although I probably won’t be because simplicity . So for the foreseeable future, I’ll probably just be doing one-on-one coaching and, but I’ll also share if spots are running low, that kind of thing. So if you do want to keep staying connected with me, that’ll be the place to go aside.

Instagram and obviously if you’ve resonated with a lot of this content and you actually want to chat a bit more about whether we can work together or I can help you with that. I’ll also put the coffee chat link in the show notes where you can book a free call. We can have a chat and see, you know, if there’s a particular challenge that you want to walk through, we can do that for Absolutely $0, but then if you know you are interested in coaching, we can obviously talk about that and what that looks like as well. Anyway, I think that’s all I’ve gotta say. Again, thank you so much for listening and tuning in. It’s been a blast, and I’ll catch you next time when I’m back.